My birthday came and went. I still look the same. One month ago I was hoping to look in the mirror and see a new and improved exterior. What I found when I looked was just me, shabby, pudgy, plain old me. I was so disappointed and ashamed. What I failed to see, or even care to look for at the time is the changes I have made on the inside. This journey as been such a roller coaster, as these things usually are. In the end though, I feel better about myself. Knowing that in the end all that really matters is being genuine, and finding happiness in the moment.
I am overweight, and I feel less than healthy on any given day. My muscles feel weak, and my insides are always aching. This is a result of years of bad habits, eating poorly and loafing around the house. This is not how I want to feel physically. I have been making small changes, adopting better habits, and they have helped me keep the few pounds I managed to lose previously off. THAT IS SOMETHING, and I am proud.
As the kids summer vacation's end, brings with it the school year, and not just any school year, but the year my youngest starts kindergarden, my life will change from stay-at-home Mom to working Mom, I am nervous (scared shit less actually) and excited. I hope to start this new chapter with a changed outlook and a renewed sense of self pride, not for how I look, but for who I am, and what I mean to my husband, children, family and friends, and above all to myself. Feeling healthy and getting into shape will hopefully be a side effect of being truly happy on the inside.
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