Wow, where to start? So much has happened since my last blog post, yet nothing that stands out all that much to backtrack and post about. So I s'pose I pick up where I left off... I am still in the ranks of the unemployed, an starting to really cherish the freedom an ease of my days without work or kids... don't tell my husband that....or my kids for that matter, as far as they are concerned I sit at home and wallow in my loneliness until they are one school for the day. I do miss them, and wish I had the opportunity to have them with me whenever the mood strikes, but 6 hours goes by quickly, the noise and mess pick up just where they left off.
I do intend on finding gainful employment in the foreseeable future, just not yet... I am taking a leave of absence from real life! I do realise I just had a 7 years long maternity leave, but I still think I am entitled to this sabbatical. It's more of a recharge and renew my sense of self and who I am outside of motherhood, so I can move forward in a genuine direction instead of going for it blindly. I have been volunteering at the kid's school as much as I can, helping organize the hot lunch program, being there to help in their classrooms on special days, and meeting some great new people along the way. It feels great to be able to be a part of it all, and my kids really love me being there. It is such a community, and family minded school, and I am proud to help and be a part of that in my own small way.
So here I am, same old, same old, but with a little more clarity and focus (or lack there of) on just what these days ahead are all about... *said in the most selfless way possible* me... and finding out just what the bare bones, deep down inside "me" is capable of...
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
A Monday Unlike Any Other.
Dear Monday, You have been good to me so far. Thank you for that. I'm not always your biggest fan, but today, I don't mind you. Let's make this a habit, shall we? That is all. Yours Truly, Shaunna
If it's any indication of how my day has started out, I only hit snooze once this morning. I had time to get myself presentable, and it's a funny thing, but feel a lot better about myself going out into the world not looking like a mess. We got to school early so the kids got to play on the playground for 15 minutes before the bell rang at school, which never happens, which is a shame cause they love it.
I forced myself to eat some fruit for a quick breaky this morning, normally the thought of anything but water or coffee passing through these lips before 10:30am makes me wanna hurl. Today I forced a few prune plums down the hatch. Breakfast, (sort of) check. I am going to try and be a rabbit for a few days. Eating a ton of fruits, veggies, and hopefully that's about it. I have an exciting little trip to look forward to on Saturday, and I want to feel light and fresh and healthy going into it. I have been eating completely mindlessly lately, like I am boycotting the healthy lifestyle I want to be living. I had a little "spill" over a ring of rocks (an un-lit fire pit) last weekend (not my shiniest moment ever) and have lost every last bit of one of my toenails. So runners are a no-go, which means the gym is out for a while. That really disappoints me, I have the gym pass, the free time, and deep down, really really deep down, the drive to get in there. Just need this nasty toe to heal up enough to shove into a shoe!
My personal challenges this week:
~Eat a diet made up f 80% fruit and veggies, down at least 2L of water a day, and try to get into the gym 3x, and do the best I can with what I've got.
~Organize my clothes, put the summer stuff away, pull out the fall stuff. (Because, DANG it got cold out fast!)
If it's any indication of how my day has started out, I only hit snooze once this morning. I had time to get myself presentable, and it's a funny thing, but feel a lot better about myself going out into the world not looking like a mess. We got to school early so the kids got to play on the playground for 15 minutes before the bell rang at school, which never happens, which is a shame cause they love it.
I forced myself to eat some fruit for a quick breaky this morning, normally the thought of anything but water or coffee passing through these lips before 10:30am makes me wanna hurl. Today I forced a few prune plums down the hatch. Breakfast, (sort of) check. I am going to try and be a rabbit for a few days. Eating a ton of fruits, veggies, and hopefully that's about it. I have an exciting little trip to look forward to on Saturday, and I want to feel light and fresh and healthy going into it. I have been eating completely mindlessly lately, like I am boycotting the healthy lifestyle I want to be living. I had a little "spill" over a ring of rocks (an un-lit fire pit) last weekend (not my shiniest moment ever) and have lost every last bit of one of my toenails. So runners are a no-go, which means the gym is out for a while. That really disappoints me, I have the gym pass, the free time, and deep down, really really deep down, the drive to get in there. Just need this nasty toe to heal up enough to shove into a shoe!
My personal challenges this week:
~Eat a diet made up f 80% fruit and veggies, down at least 2L of water a day, and try to get into the gym 3x, and do the best I can with what I've got.
~Organize my clothes, put the summer stuff away, pull out the fall stuff. (Because, DANG it got cold out fast!)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Oh, the places you'll go...
Today is the official first day of the next chapter of my life. All my kids are in school now. Which leaves me home all alone, no longer a career stay-at-home mom... now I just stay home because I have no where else to go. My life actually feels changed, I can't put my finger on it, but all of a sudden I don't feel like the young Mom I used to be. I know I am still young, but this step forward has pushed me into a new more mature (for lack of a better word) frame of mind. I want to accomplish things, be somebody who does something that makes a difference to strangers. I want to be healthy and fit, to inspire people, just like me, to become the best version of themselves possible. I know I am not operating at my full potential yet, it will be exciting to see what life is like when I do.
Deciding which direction to go in has been really difficult, I have so many ideas and aspirations...maybe I have just had too much time to think about it. All I know is I need a focus, something to work towards, get out of these circles I keep spinning. First things first I am going to make an appointment to speak with someone at the local college, see what my options are, and what I should be doing now to set me up for a few steps down the road. I am frightened by the idea of 2 (or more) years of school, like it's so much time that I don't feel I have, but truth be told, everything I am leaning towards takes a good 2 years of college...or more. Which means by 32 (ish) I will be ready to take on the career life with some education under my belt. Qualifications... what a wonderful concept. I need me some!
Hunny has been amazing during this transition to kindergarten. She just goes, with no reservations, no looking back. Then I'm just standing there feeling sad for myself, but absolutely in awe of her strength and confidence at such an early age. In those moments I know I've done right by her... that now and later in life she's gonna be just fine! Oh, the places she'll go.
(PS. If you haven't read the book "Oh, the places you'll Go!" by Dr.Seuss...please do, it's my favorite.)
Deciding which direction to go in has been really difficult, I have so many ideas and aspirations...maybe I have just had too much time to think about it. All I know is I need a focus, something to work towards, get out of these circles I keep spinning. First things first I am going to make an appointment to speak with someone at the local college, see what my options are, and what I should be doing now to set me up for a few steps down the road. I am frightened by the idea of 2 (or more) years of school, like it's so much time that I don't feel I have, but truth be told, everything I am leaning towards takes a good 2 years of college...or more. Which means by 32 (ish) I will be ready to take on the career life with some education under my belt. Qualifications... what a wonderful concept. I need me some!
Hunny has been amazing during this transition to kindergarten. She just goes, with no reservations, no looking back. Then I'm just standing there feeling sad for myself, but absolutely in awe of her strength and confidence at such an early age. In those moments I know I've done right by her... that now and later in life she's gonna be just fine! Oh, the places she'll go.
(PS. If you haven't read the book "Oh, the places you'll Go!" by Dr.Seuss...please do, it's my favorite.)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Get Lost, and Find Yourself!
Seeing another week come and go has become a lot less scary than it used to be. A few months ago I found myself obsessing about food, and my physical appearance, and when those weeks would pass without "improvement" I would feel defeated. Recently I have been trying to adopt a new perspective, one that starts from the inside and not the outside. Trying to focus on things that I love and put myself into them whole-heartedly just the way I am.
I hope I am setting a good example for my kids too, ensuring them that life is not about how you look, but who you are. They are gorgeous, fun, and bright little lights, and I never want them to feel like anything but their own personal perfects. I will no longer have a hand in possibly making them second guess their beauty inside or out. I will show them that the two go hand.
I am going away this weekend with a great group of ladies, and while I will miss my babies and my MJB, I am really looking forward to just being Shaunna for a while. Checking my noisy, restless brain at the door and recharging my batteries. So I can come home a better wife and Mama. I think time off is a must for everyone. When you feel burnt out and overwhelmed, remove yourself from the everyday, get back to the basics and just be for a few days. What you miss out on while you are gone, from work or home, you will make up for ten fold coming back feeling refreshed and energized. We become so engrossed in everyday life that we forget a little bit why we do what we do. When I come home to my families faces I am ready to give them my all, and receive all they have to give.
So my advice for today....go get lost, and find yourself!
I hope I am setting a good example for my kids too, ensuring them that life is not about how you look, but who you are. They are gorgeous, fun, and bright little lights, and I never want them to feel like anything but their own personal perfects. I will no longer have a hand in possibly making them second guess their beauty inside or out. I will show them that the two go hand.
I am going away this weekend with a great group of ladies, and while I will miss my babies and my MJB, I am really looking forward to just being Shaunna for a while. Checking my noisy, restless brain at the door and recharging my batteries. So I can come home a better wife and Mama. I think time off is a must for everyone. When you feel burnt out and overwhelmed, remove yourself from the everyday, get back to the basics and just be for a few days. What you miss out on while you are gone, from work or home, you will make up for ten fold coming back feeling refreshed and energized. We become so engrossed in everyday life that we forget a little bit why we do what we do. When I come home to my families faces I am ready to give them my all, and receive all they have to give.
So my advice for today....go get lost, and find yourself!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
From some other beginning's end.
My birthday came and went. I still look the same. One month ago I was hoping to look in the mirror and see a new and improved exterior. What I found when I looked was just me, shabby, pudgy, plain old me. I was so disappointed and ashamed. What I failed to see, or even care to look for at the time is the changes I have made on the inside. This journey as been such a roller coaster, as these things usually are. In the end though, I feel better about myself. Knowing that in the end all that really matters is being genuine, and finding happiness in the moment.
I am overweight, and I feel less than healthy on any given day. My muscles feel weak, and my insides are always aching. This is a result of years of bad habits, eating poorly and loafing around the house. This is not how I want to feel physically. I have been making small changes, adopting better habits, and they have helped me keep the few pounds I managed to lose previously off. THAT IS SOMETHING, and I am proud.
As the kids summer vacation's end, brings with it the school year, and not just any school year, but the year my youngest starts kindergarden, my life will change from stay-at-home Mom to working Mom, I am nervous (scared shit less actually) and excited. I hope to start this new chapter with a changed outlook and a renewed sense of self pride, not for how I look, but for who I am, and what I mean to my husband, children, family and friends, and above all to myself. Feeling healthy and getting into shape will hopefully be a side effect of being truly happy on the inside.
I am overweight, and I feel less than healthy on any given day. My muscles feel weak, and my insides are always aching. This is a result of years of bad habits, eating poorly and loafing around the house. This is not how I want to feel physically. I have been making small changes, adopting better habits, and they have helped me keep the few pounds I managed to lose previously off. THAT IS SOMETHING, and I am proud.
As the kids summer vacation's end, brings with it the school year, and not just any school year, but the year my youngest starts kindergarden, my life will change from stay-at-home Mom to working Mom, I am nervous (scared shit less actually) and excited. I hope to start this new chapter with a changed outlook and a renewed sense of self pride, not for how I look, but for who I am, and what I mean to my husband, children, family and friends, and above all to myself. Feeling healthy and getting into shape will hopefully be a side effect of being truly happy on the inside.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
If Birthdays Wore Socks...
While the results aren't astonishingly apparent, I feel good about my newest photo. The two were taken 6 months apart, but I have not been legitimately trying this whole time, and the dreaded Christmas holiday bulked me up even further weight wise, both photos I weigh about the same, 183ish. In the last month I have lost about 8 lbs. I wanted to lose at least 10, so that just shows me how truly hard this undertaking is, and how I need to be a little more disciplined as I go forward.
My measurements are a positive motivation for sure. I used my ribbons to see how much I've lost since April 4th. Officially I am down 10.9 inches over all! This is proudly displayed on my refrigerator! The ribbon pieces (over top of the green lines) are the bits I got to cut off this month. 3.3 cm around the "girls", 3.4 cm down around my waist, and 4.2 cm of these child bearing hips! This does feel good, and I hope the next month of downsizing produces similar results!
My measurements are a positive motivation for sure. I used my ribbons to see how much I've lost since April 4th. Officially I am down 10.9 inches over all! This is proudly displayed on my refrigerator! The ribbon pieces (over top of the green lines) are the bits I got to cut off this month. 3.3 cm around the "girls", 3.4 cm down around my waist, and 4.2 cm of these child bearing hips! This does feel good, and I hope the next month of downsizing produces similar results!
I am still struggling with food addiction, and will power when it comes to un-healthy portions. I probably always will. Day by day though, I feel myself growing stronger, and I KNOW I can do this. I am just incredibly impatient! These small results do help keep me satisfied for now, but when my 29th birthday shows up at my doorstep I hope I knock it's socks off. That is...if birthdays had feet.
Weekly Words to Live By:
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward. -Victor Kiam
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Cleaning the Slate.
I had a little slip this past week with Easter and all, but I am back on the wagon and buckling in for the ride. I really need to live and breathe this new lifestyle if I expect to have decent results by my 29th (gulp) birthday. I missed a few days of the gym last week, but hope to make up for it this week with super healthy clean eating, and an extra day of the gym.
Life around the house is peacefully uneventful. Spaceman has made leaps and bounds in the attitude department, and the more good days we have the more effortless it becomes. I have been trying to spring clean, though the weather seems to be unsure of Springs arrival, my internal clock is screaming for household organization. When the house is organized, my mind is quieter. I spent the entirety of yesterday morning organizing Hunny's room, throwing out all the junk, broken toys, and garbage she has so sweetly accumulated. She just loves to fill empty space with "stuff", purses, containers, pockets, corners, like a cute and less hairy pack rat.
I am constantly thinking of what to do in September when my house is kid free for the better part of the day. I toss and turn at night wondering how I will make it all work. I try to tell myself (and believe it), that things will all come together. Unfortunately a job will not just be sitting there waiting for me to be ready for it. I have to make it happen. For now I am concentrating on this summer with my kids, because it may be the last one I have off with them, once I get through that I will go into career mode. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. The thing that has defined me for the last 7 years is being a stay-at-home Momma. When I am not that woman anymore.....who will I be?
Weekly Words to Live By:
Life around the house is peacefully uneventful. Spaceman has made leaps and bounds in the attitude department, and the more good days we have the more effortless it becomes. I have been trying to spring clean, though the weather seems to be unsure of Springs arrival, my internal clock is screaming for household organization. When the house is organized, my mind is quieter. I spent the entirety of yesterday morning organizing Hunny's room, throwing out all the junk, broken toys, and garbage she has so sweetly accumulated. She just loves to fill empty space with "stuff", purses, containers, pockets, corners, like a cute and less hairy pack rat.
I am constantly thinking of what to do in September when my house is kid free for the better part of the day. I toss and turn at night wondering how I will make it all work. I try to tell myself (and believe it), that things will all come together. Unfortunately a job will not just be sitting there waiting for me to be ready for it. I have to make it happen. For now I am concentrating on this summer with my kids, because it may be the last one I have off with them, once I get through that I will go into career mode. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. The thing that has defined me for the last 7 years is being a stay-at-home Momma. When I am not that woman anymore.....who will I be?
Weekly Words to Live By:
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