Confronting my Ghost.

The past two nights I've been dreaming of ghosts. With MJB being away I wake up feeling totally freaked out, I miss having that warm body in bed beside me, it's amazing how safe I feel when I am with him. These dreams have got me rattled a bit, so I looked up on a website what dreaming of ghosts means, and it's a sign that you are repressing something, that you are holding yourself back from moving forward in a more positive direction. I have attributed this to the way I am putting of getting into shape, I owe it to myself, but I am reluctant to try for fear of failing...again. So my ghost is my guilt in a sense, I'm feeling guilty for not trying my hardest.

I hate eating before noon, I literaly have to choke down a meal anytime in the AM. Worst thing for me I know, but it is what it is. Regardless I tried drinking my breakfast this morning in a smoothie. 1/2 a banana, some grated carrot, 1/4 avocado, strawberries, raspberries, honey, vanilla, and a splash of AJ (apple juice). It was pretty darn good. We'll see how that starts my day off... For accountability, and your viewing pleasure, I think I'm going to try to photograph and post my progress, I am very visual, so to have results right before my eyes might help, just as long as I actually see those changes along the way, or I become discouraged and give up. 

The scale is not my best friend, I am going to move it out to the shed today. I will weigh myself again on the 15th of October, Today I weighed 188 lbs.

Also, I did not get much done on my to do list for yesterday, so today I will clean the fridge, pantry, and junk cupboard in the kitchen. That ghost of guilt can kiss my big white butt. I'm gettin' 'er done.