Get Lost, and Find Yourself!

Seeing another week come and go has become a lot less scary than it used to be. A few months ago I found myself obsessing about food, and my physical appearance, and when those weeks would pass without "improvement" I would feel defeated. Recently I have been trying to adopt a new perspective, one that starts from the inside and not the outside. Trying to focus on things that I love and put myself into them whole-heartedly just the way I am.

I hope I am setting a good example for my kids too, ensuring them that life is not about how you look, but who you are. They are gorgeous, fun, and bright little lights, and I never want them to feel like anything but their own personal perfects. I will no longer have a hand in possibly making them second guess their beauty inside or out. I will show them that the two go hand.

I am going away this weekend with a great group of ladies, and while I will miss my babies and my MJB, I am really looking forward to just being Shaunna for a while. Checking my noisy, restless brain at the door and recharging my batteries. So I can come home a better wife and Mama. I think time off is a must for everyone. When you feel burnt out and overwhelmed, remove yourself from the everyday, get back to the basics and just be for a few days. What you miss out on while you are gone, from work or home, you will make up for ten fold coming back feeling refreshed and energized. We become so engrossed in everyday life that we forget a little bit why we do what we do. When I come home to my families faces I am ready to give them my all, and receive all they have to give.

So my advice for today....go get lost, and find yourself!

From some other beginning's end.

My birthday came and went. I still look the same. One month ago I was hoping to look in the mirror and see a new and improved exterior. What I found when I looked was just me, shabby, pudgy, plain old me. I was so disappointed and ashamed. What I failed to see, or even care to look for at the time is the changes I have made on the inside. This journey as been such a roller coaster, as these things usually are. In the end though, I feel better about myself. Knowing that in the end all that really matters is being genuine, and finding happiness in the moment.

I am overweight, and I feel less than healthy on any given day. My muscles feel weak, and my insides are always aching. This is a result of years of bad habits, eating poorly and loafing around the house. This is not how I want to feel physically. I have been making small changes, adopting better habits, and they have helped me keep the few pounds I managed to lose previously off. THAT IS SOMETHING, and I am proud.

As the kids summer vacation's end, brings with it the school year, and not just any school year, but the year my youngest starts kindergarden, my life will change from stay-at-home Mom to working Mom, I am nervous (scared shit less actually) and excited. I hope to start this new chapter with a changed outlook and a renewed sense of self pride, not for how I look, but for who I am, and what I mean to my husband, children, family and friends, and above all to myself. Feeling healthy and getting into shape will hopefully be a side effect of being truly happy on the inside.