Captain and I are leaving for Panama in less than 2 weeks. I am crappin' in my proverbial pants. We have to take like 3 planes there and 3 planes home. 6 more planes than I ever hope to get on for a vacation. I am a nervous flyer to say the least. I hate it. So I get super drunk and pretend I am on a bus the whole time, window seats are a big eff no for me, because the sight out the window instantly kills the visualization of driving down a bumpy highway. The calm passengers and flight attendants make me feel like a paranoid freak, which I am, while I look like the in-flight drunk, which I am.
The first time I flew I was already a mother of 3, and I think a lot of my fear stems from the thought of orphaning my children. I have even contemplated Captain and I taking different flights. Hoping of course his plane is the one to go down. As much as I love him, if it's gotta be me or him I think he could handle the crash situation with more dignity...
All kidding aside, more than ever I need this getaway, working full time and being a mom is hard as hell, especially when you are semi-single Monday to Friday while your husband works out of town. I don't want to leave my kids, I feel like time with them is limited right now as it is, but I feel drained, heavy, and dull. This week away will put me in a better mind space to be the best Mom I can. My kids are really what it's all about. Schmoo, Mr. Maggo, and Hunny Bear, you are my paradise... All I need is right here at home, zero flights necessary.
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